Would you teach your 10 years old daughter to meditate?

I asked my 10 years old daughter to think about a tree on green grass for just 1 minute. 

At the end of that minute, she told me that she thought about a tree on green grass, but also other thoughts that she didn’t start came in her mind, some stayed and some left. 

“This is your mind that never stops speaking” I told her.

You are not what your mind is telling you but you’re what you believe in. 

What you tell yourself and what you believe don’t necessarily have to be the same thing.

 

 

 

6 days ago my daughter told me that she’s having problems falling asleep at night, she’s every time going to sleep late and in the morning she can’t wake up and I/we have to call her 2 or 3 times before she stands up and starts preparing.


In the evening I asked her why she was struggling to fall asleep and she replied that she cannot stop thinking. Her answer shocked me a little bit. I was expecting that kind of reply from a 20-23 years old person, not a 10 years old.

It’s the same problem that affects me, and I suppose many of us also. The mind doesn’t stop its monologues and tells us its opinions without being asked.


So I asked myself: “why don’t I teach my daughter to meditate?” Afterall, this is my way to calm my mind and control my thoughts.

I asked her: “Do you know what it means to meditate?” 

And she replied: “ Yes, it’s when you relax.”

And I: “Yes but relaxing is the effect of meditation, not its goal. It’s like when you’re in the airport and there are many kids playing around you, people speaking and the announcer announcing the flights on the speaker; in these conditions you can’t relax or sleep. But if you go in a calmer area, with fewer people and without announcements, maybe you can relax and sleep.” 


I explained to her that meditating it’s a way to create peace and quiet in your mind and this allows you to relax and fall asleep.

I told her to sit quietly with closed eyes for 1 minute and I asked her to think just about a tree on green grass. After the minute passed I asked her what she thought about, to which she replied: “at green grass and a tree.”

“Nothing else?” I asked her.

“Yes, also a bunny. But what is this strange thing that you’re making me do? Why does it seem like time doesn't pass anymore? And I remember something that a school mate told me that made me feel stupid.  ” She told me.

So I asked her to do the same thing, to sit quietly with closed eyes and to think about a tree on green grass, for 1 minute. But this time I set the timer to 3 minutes. 

When she finished, I asked her: “What did you think about?”

And she told me: “I thought about a tree and green grass but there were also other things, some stayed for some moments and others left very fast.” 

So I asked her whose these thought were; and she told me that they were hers. 

And I replied: “ But I asked you to think just about a tree on green grass.” And she: “I don’t know, other thoughts came in my mind, without wanting them.” 

So I told her: “ You have to be aware that your mind is constantly sending you thoughts that you didn’t want and it’s telling you replies to questions you didn’t ask and it judges you in such a harsh way that you would never do with your friends.


What would you tell if your friend makes a mistake during a math exercise? Something like “Oh, don’t worry it’s just a small mistake you just have to apply this formula” Instead, the judgement that you give to yourself is much more severe and hard “You’re a stupid! You are a incompetent and you’ll never change and you’ll repeat the year because math is not for you” This is what I hear that you usually say to yourself with your looks, it it right?” 

“Yes it’s right, sometimes I tell myself that I’m a stupid and incapable to do things.” She told me. 

I told her: “ Hear what your mind is telling you, but take it as a friend, and remember that you can also reject its opinion and do what you want.” 


You are not what your mind tells you, but you’re what you believe in. 

What you tell yourself and what you believe don’t necessarily have to be the same thing.

For this is important to treat yourself kindly, in the same way you would treat a good friend. Avoid treating him badly, but give him advice, and make sure you do the same thing with you.


The first step to be free and think on our own is to be aware that often we are not good friends with ourselves, but we give our best with the others and we’re tough and arrogant with ourselves instead. 


If we would treat our friends in the same way we treat ourselves most probably they wouldn’t be our friends anymore and this is paradoxical. The only reason why we’re letting our mind do this is because we’re not aware that we can decline what our mind is telling us.


Being conscious about how we treat ourselves and trying to be our best friend is the first kind of meditation that we can do. 

Being happy is also being aware that many times in our head we are not alone. 

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